Us women know we are not to gossip. Christian women know this especially, since the Bible makes Gods stance very clear. Which is...don't!
{Leviticus 19:16; Proverbs 11:13; Romans 1:29; 1 Timothy 5:13; Matthew 7:1; Proverbs 18:8}
Yet some people find it their business to tell other peoples personal business to everyone! The worst part, they use God. They tell themselves it isn't gossiping if they ask someone to pray for you or your situation. If they feel for you and share it with someone else then it is all good right? That means they are just concerned for you.
Ladies, it is still gossip if you call it something else (just like a lie is a lie, no matter the colour).
Myself, I have become the "righteous gossiper". Those who have gossiped about me, I feel should be open targets for me to gossip about. I don't mean that I intentionally set out to do it either. Just that in the moment, my anger takes over and revenge spills out. To say my hurt hasn't turned to anger and then into bitterness would be a farce. I am angry. I am bitter!
Mostly though, my husband and I both, are really hurt. We wanted to believe that there was somebody who would understand our desire to grieve in private, and we really didn't want the whole world to know (Galatians 6:2 ESV). We didn't want to experience all those things again. Just before I decided to start blogging this, we found out that everyone at my work knows. So somebody spread the news again even further, and these were people we specifically asked to please not tell a soul!
So why not talk about it, when everyone already know. The only thing that will be news to them is what it feels like going through all the effects of Multiple Miscarriages and Infertility.
After all, we had already heard enough about how we "need to pray more" (which thanks for the tip, but my husband has been praying over my belly since we were first married and I have been personally doing it for 6 years, so you can relax in knowing...thats not it), we don't have hope (I think the previous posts covers this a bit), we don't believe in the miracles that God performs (I have personally witnessed more then one of His miracles, rest assured that my faith is unshakable) or that you just can't tell what God is doing in your life (fyi, we can't tell what the enemy is doing either and I highly doubt a God of love would ever make a woman infertile. Use the outcome for His will, yes. Torment you, no).
I hear the way I have spoken about others lately, and I don't like it. Which makes me wonder, do the other gossip perpetrators even think twice about what they did? The hurt they have caused and the friendships they have destroyed? Do they even realize that there will be unforseable consequences?
I do.
I don't just mean for their actions either, but for mine as well.
Gossip is like a ripple in a pond. You can't take it back, the effects are far reaching, you can't predict how the consequences will play out and you are often creating a cascade-ripple effect (it will just keep going).
When will all us ladies realize we need to stick together, love each other more then ourselves and stand up for one another? When will people start to say, "I really don't think that is appropriate to share"?
The bible talks about holding your brethern accountable for their actions:
- Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. - Ephesians 4:25 ESV
- Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. -Proverbs 27:17 ESV
- Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom. -Colossians 3:16 ESV
- Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. - Hebrews 3:12-13 ESV
Then there are also scriptures about how to help yourself:
- “Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.” -Proverbs 26:20 (NIV)
- “Then you must inquire, probe and investigate it thoroughly.” -Deuteronomy 13:14 (NIV)
- “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” -Matthew 7:12 (NIV)
- “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” -Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)
Lastly there is scripture about how to deal with it if it spirals out of control or others sin against you:
- Whoever says to the wicked, “You are in the right,” will be cursed by peoples, abhorred by nations, but those who rebuke the wicked will have delight, and a good blessing will come upon them. -Proverbs 24:24-25 ESV
- When one of you has a grievance against another, does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints? Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is to be judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases? Do you not know that we are to judge angels? How much more, then, matters pertaining to this life! So if you have such cases, why do you lay them before those who have no standing in the church? I say this to your shame. Can it be that there is no one among you wise enough to settle a dispute between the brothers, ... -1 Corinthians 6:1-8 ESV
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. -Ephesians 4:32 ESV- “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. -Matthew 18:15-17 ESV
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