To Have or Not To Have....

"If you cannot conceive, maybe you aren't meant to have children."

~ Said by a "True Believer"

Ok, so this is one of those things that someone has said to me (to which I find very insensitive).

Which of course, as if finding yourself infertile doesn't make you have a million-and-one questions that you ask yourself as it is, this statement made me ask myself one more...

Should we be parents?

Maybe this sounds weird to you, because obviously we want to be parents so bad that all of this is giving us a complex and a twitch, but how do I know if we are "meant" to be parents? Is it in Gods will that we raise wee ones or any children at all?

I used to think that the statement was not only insensitive, but also stupid and ignorant (and the person along with it. I don't find her particularly intelligible or sensitive. She is a Prada-Baby Mama...I'll explain that in another post). However, lately it has made me think..and a lot. Was it just her vapid brain that thought it or was it God using her? How do I find out?

Some of the things it has made me think about is whether or not I could live a life free of bitterness without children. Would I be happy? Would my life feel like it had meaning and purpose? Would I look back later and regret having or not having children?

My brain feels all jelly-like and over-worked. Just thinking about this gives me a major headache. I want an answer and yet it isn't something that seems to come right away. Perhaps God has the answer for me, and I just haven't crossed the right person or reached the right stage for that answer.

Perhaps he is getting me ready, so it is at the right time and not when it would send me to the Ponoka Mental Institute. Although I do hear they have nice slippers there. *wink* ;)

I will seek Gods wisdom and maybe He will find me there.