They Found the First Black Hole!

And it's my uterus!

OK, so maybe that is a little over the top. The picture is a good one to sum up the feeling though, if I must say so.

In November we finally were able to see a Gynecologist (after me requesting a referral for 6 years). They have never believed there was something not quite right, and now I have finally had the opportunity.

Drum roll....... there is nothing they can do. *sigh*

Without me having 3 documented miscarriages through my Doctor and since home pregnancy tests do not work (my "feelings" of being with child are inadmissible), their hands are tied.
It is simply too expensive to do genetic tests or any physical tests on me (in all this I am seeing a positive side to private health care). For now, all they will do is more blood tests (repeating the same ones from last February) and send us off with positive affirmations and well wishes!
When the Doctor told me there was nothing wrong with me and that he feels very positive we will carry our own child; I sat mouth open, with a stunned look on face. Then,

Gynecologist said, "just go home and don't try."
To which I said, "what does that mean?"
Gynecologist said, "don't use protection, plan intercourse or measure your temperature, just enjoy the moment."
I said, "believe me, we have never "tried" in that sense. We have always held the philosophy that we would enjoy being intimate in the moment, without any thought towards getting pregnant." that, "we enjoy sex anytime the mood strikes (some weeks daily or whatever happens, happens). We don't place any pressure on one another to 'do it now or else!' and that we love our sex life. So what advice do you have, cause the great sex ain't doing the trick!!!!"
Gynecologist said, "What do you mean?"
Me, "Well if there is no pressure, our sex life is spontaneous & stress free, what else is there that we can do to be more successfull?"
Gynecologist said, "Oh, well, I think if you just keep at that it will do the trick."
Me, "Well it hasn't yet!"
Gynecologist said, "Eventually."
Me, "It's been a while."
Gynecologist has a puzzled look, then eureka strikes and... "it has been almost a year since your last pregnancy hasn't it!?!"
"Yep."
Gynecologist said, "Hmmm, maybe we should do at least one expensive test."
*frusterated sigh from David & I*

From what we understand talking to my Physician after, is that they have guidlines to follow. With my age and "low miscarriage rate", I am classed as fertile and able to carry. Thus we do not qualify to be referred for further testing, genetic or otherwise. Woohoo a whole year waiting to waste more of my time!

Then the cherry on top came after our appointment, aunt flow didn't come for a month and a half.
Don't hold your breath, no swell news here!
Back to my Physician, only to hear that there are still medical mysteries or I could be Peri-menopausal (but that cannot be properly diagnosed in my case till I have been a year without). He also said, given my situation (1 tube, unable to carry past 6 - 8 weeks, blood tests normal, not PCOS and this new situation), at best we are going to require IVF in a couple years, once referred by our Gyno. Plus he thinks the IVF is a long shot too. :'( Boo!!!!

Our Lottery odds just went down the drain or would that be the black hole?

Yet, somewhere, not sure were...a teeny-tiny-itsy-bitsy-unquantafiable amount of HOPE still lingers.