This past 2 years, it feels like death is all we know. It has come up and swallowed us whole.




It is dark and the pain all consuming.




In the state of grief we are in, it is difficult to see the sunnier side of life. Once and awhile we glimpse wonderful sunsets, wildlife or the moon and it reminds us that there is still beauty in the world.



Other times, without much forsight on my part, I end up thinking about our precious children. It is usually triggered by other children, being teased about when I am finally going to get on the baby making train, hearing "I'm pregnant!", watching our friends with envy or the countless reminders around our house (scrapbooking stuff, the baby items we had bought in our anticipation and even our wedding pics...yes they remind me of what we were hoping for that day, a family).
It was to the point I was tempted to burn everything we owned, especially my scrapbooking room.


Just a couple of months ago, I finally started scrapbooking/cardmaking again. I am trying to keep my focus on the positive experiences we are having in our lives right now...
We have wonderful pets, we are almost completely debt free again (not counting good debt - ie a mortgage), we are working on the yard this summer and we are meeting people where we live. David is a volunteer firefighter now too and he is seriously looking into a new career, which would make having kids possible for us. :)

Trying to bathe in the sunshine for now...